Nine times out of ten, you happen to meet people who deem true love is like a rare treasure. You yearn for it but you do not find it and once you find true love you are never the same person again. The glory of true love changes you inside out and makes you feel as the happiest person on the planet.
I remember meeting a friend of mine some years back, who was disraught, a pure picture of pain and agnoy writ large on face, whose marriage turned out to be a failure becuase he thought his marriage was based on a false love.
What is a false love ? I thought to myself then? A deception or mere sham love.
In my point of view, It takes a life time to find a distinction between a true love and false love. Genuine, authentic and selfless love is more found in books and fairy tales than in midst of our beings. True love is a rare yet not impossible.
Those who find true love should honor and respect it accordingly and should not trample upon it since many yearn for it and do not get it.
We live in a very factitious age, where everything around us has many faces and things are not as they appear to be. The cosmetic world had layers upon layers to hide the intention and motives lurking underneath, love can be a handy thing to manipulate people. A plaything in hands of people who use it the way it pleases them.
The intresting part about love is, we all need it. We are yearn for it. We want it.We know about it. Do we all learn about love as well ? What is it?
Love counts different for different people in their journey of life. For a dying solider in a battlefield, love is his country. For a mother, love is her child, for a lover, love is the name of a sweetheart. The love list goes on.
What is Love?
Love is a feeling, an emotion or sensation based upon physical or emotional attraction towards people, values, beliefs and things . Love has unlimited reach. It engulfs everything. At times whole cosmos, sometimes tiny to be curled up in a human heart. Love is sometimes reckoned complex as maze and deep as ocean and high as sky but it is also sometimes seen through the innocent eyes of newly born baby who gazes in amazement, wonder and suprise to the hands that keep and tend him.
Love is natural to living beings like fish to swim, duck to water or bird to fly. We are born with feelings and emotions which warm the cockles of our hearts . A feeling which stays with us and we soar on cloud nine with wonders and unbounded joys of love.
Even though love is one of the most common feeling of affection but yet most profound phenomenon of human life. The nature of love is beyond the comprehension of human mind even though it has hand and glove relationship with us.
The charisma of love has never been fully understood down through the human civilization. World´s renowned authors, poets, writers have written extensively on the theme of love. We get glimpses of love here and there. The wholesomeness of love demands a life time. It is deeply unfathomable. Love features on our lives and always will be a pleasent and glorious mystery open for fresh thoughts and inputs.
Generally speaking, love is thought to have three components. These are commitment, Passion and Intimacy. Every form of love in our world has to have one of them or all of them to constitute it.
I believe a distinction can be guaged between a true and false love by putting them against these three components of love. Anything love which is devoid of these component (s) are reckoned as fake love.
True Love has commitment:
It is a promise and it is an on-going process. Love is to be pledged against individuals emotional, social, spiritual, familial feelings of attachment and concern. The very existence of a person exalts and honors such commitment through their words, deeds and action. Commitment is the heart of love. Without commitment love is impossible.
True Love has Passion:
Love is about passion. It is a force and drive which gives you strength and encourages you to move forwards, even in the face of diffculities, even when storm is raging, life is upside down. The passion of love gives us a hope to find that all will be fine. Passion is the spirit of love. It is what which makes us determined, unconquerable and strong.
True Love has Intimacy:
Love is about Intimacy. It develops a close relationship with a certain individual. It is about knowing other half in privacy and closeness. Intimacy is also a privilege which should be dealt with honor and respect. It should not be violated at any cost. Duplicity in Intimacy is denial of love.
The most common types of love are as follow : Romantic love, Religious Love, Familial Love.
Characteristics of True Love :
In my point of view, Love is very abstract term. It carries no bounderies. It has no limits. Yet it engulfs everything. It is deep. No one can define it yet we experience it, we learn from it and through it in every passing day of our lives.
There is no hard fast rule or any chemical equation to understand love yet is self explains in many shades and colors.
True love believes in everything. It does not doubt. It is like a flowing water. Unhindered. It goes on and on . Love is unstoppable. It does not seek it own interest or envy but true love is selfless.
True love is a product of Peace. There is less disharmony and more room is given for mutual understanding and thoughts. It gives space for peace under which love mushrooms and develops.
True love honors and respects and sustains during the adversity and it is strengthened even in the hard and troubled times. It is persistent. It is constant. It is ceaseless. It never ends.
True love is gentle, It is kind and it does not parade and it does not expect anything.
True love provides and it is giving. It does not seek nothing , demands nothing. It is unconditional and unlimited.
Manifestations of Fake love :
Our cosmetic world has changed the landscape of our lives. True love has eroded into deception, lust and avarice which have become the hall mark of human nature. Humans beings can use any trick in the book to get their ulterior motives done by hook or crook. Love is taken as shield to the solution of the problems in the world.
Fake love is self seeking:
Unlike true love, It always seeks personal interest and profit. It does not care for nobody. In fake love, Self is soverign. It glorifies one´s own self and shallow in its nature.
Fake love is seasonal:
It stays only for a season. It has a hidden purpose. It can be material or physical benefit. Once that motive is acheived it looses its force and drive. It is locked in time.
Fake love is doubting:
It does not believe. It does not show any respect and honor but it always live in doubt and mistrust. Fake love constitutes no trust.
Fake love always fails:
The ultimate destiny of fake love is nothingness. It always fails. It never has success. It is stagnant. It never has life giving force but a death like stench.
Fake love endures nothing :
The very nature of fake love is either deception and self-seeking. It does not have any drive to endure anything. It always looks for short cuts. It finds pleasure in comfort and easy going. It can never know pain.
Fake Love abides in strife :
Fake love prides in lies, It is hard to please. It always find faults in everything. It never learns to live in harmony but always live in strife, anger and pride. It is the arch enemy of peace.
Fake love is not life but existence :
Living a life is precious gift. Life of fake love is a burden and it chokes the spirit and soul. It takes away any delight you can ever think of. No food in the world can satiate our hunger . It just becomes an existence not a life.
Fake love prides in Material Things:
Fake love is about possessions. It´s about things. The more you have it the more you want it. It´s insatiable nature of possession grows more and more. The want of things is unending and ever-growing.
How to Approach to love:
In our cosmetic and commercial world of buy one get one free. We are mostly hoodwinked by surface than otherwise. Love matters in our lives and we need to make sure we are well-versed to tackle the most important issue in our lives .
We often hear about divorce, broken relationships, seperated families, lovers fallen apart almost every day which is really disheartening only we if we are bit more mindful to draw a line between true love or fake love. We can be better off in all aspect of our lives. Our families will find firm foundation on love, peace, harmony which will reflect in our societies and our world will be a better place to live.
Love is like a tree. It needs care,time, protective measures, undivided attention,shelter and space to mushroom only then it turns into a productive tree in whose shadows lives survive.
Unfortunately, In our fast and high tech Modern world, we chase love madly and find only heartaches and disappointments. Our approach towards love is far too fast than it deserves. Love is known as hidden treasure not as a commodity which has a price tag. Consumers of love are willing to pay for it while true love is priceless. It is given not purchased. It is a choice not an imposition.
Consumers of love believe, as long as love helps you drown your sorrows, heartaches, failures and disappointments for a time being to face the next day challenge .
Who cares if it is a true love or not ? Do you ?